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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Mental Notes of a Super Bowl Sunday:

--Must ask a male counterpart why they squeal with glee when men in strange helmets run from big yellow Y to big yellow Y.

--I suspect strange little helmeted men have something to do with training for a reenactment of the final battle of Return of the King, as tiny men in strange helmets make Orc-like noises.

--More determined than ever that strange little helmeted men are reenacting Return of the King. One strange little man in even stranger striped outfit threw down a flag that halted the game. Surely a sign of magical powers. But why did they choose to dress a wizard in stripes?

--Eagerly awaiting appearance of the hobbits.

--Had a revelation when two groups of Orcs took a break. The battle consists entirely of helmeted ORCS -- where are the people? Didn't these morons read the book?

--Getting more and more frustrated with Return of the King reenactment. Instead of using swords, Orc groups fight with a single leather projectile. Lack of funding?

--Entirely at a loss. Male counterparts taking reenactment training very seriously. Cannot figure out why one Orc group is superior to another.

--Reenactment training is taking far longer than the actual battle. Orc groups look fit to me; why are they going in to the third hour?

--Eyeballs melting out of skull. Reenactment training has taken too long.

--Have retreated to the kitchen where male counterparts spread out chips and dip to celebrate Reenactment Training Day. Why they are so excited about this when they wouldn't watch Lord of the Rings is beyond me.